Love Burns


Over the weekend, my husband saw in the news the story of a young woman in Clearwater, Florida who was charged with second degree arson for torching a man’s vehicle. Apparently she wanted to attempt revenge on her ex-boyfriend by burning his car, but ended up torching the wrong one. The owner of the vehicle sent the video to the police department and days later she was apprehended.

I don’t know what her boyfriend did to her, but the story served me well to kid my husband after we both failed to remember our eighth wedding anniversary last week. I joked with my hubby asking, “Aren’t you glad I am not like her?” 

When my Granny congratulated us, we looked at each other with the dumbest “holly crap” faces on earth because we couldn’t believe that such an important date slipped from our memory. We hugged and forgave each other for our forgetfulness. Life simply got in the way and neither of us was to blame.

When I was single I didn’t think about burning ex-boyfriends’ cars, but I did seek revenge, for example, by showing up at a party with a new guy. However, years later I understood that when love is true, hurting the other person is never a choice.

My husband’s failed marriage experience taught us both that true love is nothing without raw honesty and forgiveness. We both were frank and put all the cards on the table, so when we started to play the game, we played by the same rules and cheating was not allowed.

I know dating has gotten harder and that the increased exposure to social media has diminished the human ability to interact and accept people in their genuine form. Men and women have fallen into the trap of portraying themselves as they are expected to be or would like to be, leaving their true selves in the shadows.

Off course we want to showcase our best attributes and hide our imperfections while we are “hunting” for a mate–I did it, ask my husband! And I am not saying either that people should settle for the first candidate that crosses their path.

However, people get hurt often in their relationships, because they repeat the same mistakes over and over and are not willing to compromise. Sometimes I meet single or divorced people who desire deeply to be in a relationship, but when they start talking about their ideal soul mate, they sound like they are describing a mythological creature that exists only in Homer’s The Odyssey.

I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I found my Price Charming, and when I found him, he wasn’t riding a white stallion. He was a divorced father of two. And also, he wasn’t looking for a princess, but for a woman who didn’t need a nobility title.

I’ll never forget the brief chat I had with a young woman at a family wedding a few years back about her boyfriend and how much she wanted to marry him. I asked her what was stopping him from proposing and she said, “He wants to be in a better economic position to buy the right ring. I can live with a one karat diamond, but two would be much better.” All I could think was “Poor sucker!

To be romantic and passionate these days is so expensive! It is not the morning kiss or the quiet, secret look in a crowded room. Love must fit into molds of expectations created by a society that measures the weight of love by the likes on Instagram.

Love definitely burns, for some more than others. Hopefully my husband and I will remember our next anniversary. Otherwise, he might torch my loved Louis Vuitton bags and I will torch his golf bag and clubs.

Thank you for reading and sharing.

Xiomara Spadafora

This column was sponsored by Zellner Insurance Agency. Many things is life don’t have insurance. For everything else call Zellner (888) 208-8119

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