Holding Hands

Last Saturday my husband and I attended a beautiful wedding. Planned to perfection and exuberant in simplicity, it made love the guest of honor. The young couple exchanged a lifetime promise with their vows by a river, with family and friends as witnesses, and embarked in their most amazing adventure.

The father of the bride, our friend, said something to his daughter and the groom when he gave her away, but we couldn’t hear as the wind started blowing stronger.

Later, during the reception, I asked him about it and he said, “I told them… remember this day and your happiness, because it will help you through the tough times.” By then, I’d had my fair share of tequilas, so I teared up with the fast forward thought of me saying something to my baby and his wife-to-be some years from now.

Because I married an older man, life has moved faster for me. For example, our friends’ kids are getting married now. I already attended two weddings in the past six months, and even more, one of those friends is going to be a grandpa this May. In addition, through my step kids, I have experienced the teen years so I already have a blue print of what to expect in the future years with my little man.

I survived the rebellious teenage years of my stepson and saw him go away to college. I’ll never forget that image. My husband holding our two-month-old baby in his arms, saying good bye to his “baby”as he drove away to his university in South Florida. And currently I am going through the little-woman years of my stepdaughter–who is a junior in high school–and enjoy seeing her drive her first car, be clumsy, and share my makeup and clothes.

Both my step kids have one thing very clear though: they better not make me a step-grandma before I turn 40 or I will kill them!

Now, back to the wedding story and everything it entails–the most recent statistics of the wedding industry in the US show, as of 2014, $31,000 as the average cost–marrying a son or a daughter is one of the most important milestones in the parent job check list. Our friends even joked that they told their new sons in law, “She is your problem now son!“

I guess when your kid gets married, it feels like you found the perfect nanny who will take care of him and actually keep him forever!

Last Saturday night also brought memories of my own wedding. My husband and I are still the same pair from eight years ago–except weight wise, because I’m ten pounds heavier. However, the week after my marriage my gall bladder almost exploded; had to have emergency surgery and we hadn’t even left for the honeymoon. My husband told me that if I had one more illness, he was going to apply the “Florida Lemon Law” and take me back for another model and get a full refund!

But we are stuck, and day by day, we walk the walk away from the altar as husband and wife holding hands. The only difference is that now we have an extra pair of little hands in between, to hold and guide through life with our example.

Life has been challenging at times, and it has thrown us a few curve balls that we have had to take right in the chest. There is no dodging in a marriage, no hiding in the bull pen. But like the father of the bride said, the sheer happiness of our wedding day has pulled us through to hit several home runs.

I truly believe that if love is not pure and honest the day of the wedding–no tricks nor deceive–no matter how much money is spent on the party or the dress, the happily ever after ending never materializes. Because love is not a fantasy, but a reality if it is indeed true.

Thanks for reading and sharing.

Xiomara Spadafora

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