Last Saturday was the biggest Powerball drawing in US history, reaching almost a staggering billion dollars. On Sunday morning, before I knew there were no winners, I didn’t want to see their faces on TV. Even though I consider myself a nice person, I probably would have punched them if I saw them on the street for having such luck.
Kidding aside–I have never punched anybody in my life–I imagined winning all this money for a second. “What would I do?” I asked myself. After short consideration, these are the first five things that came to mind:
First, I would pay the IRS their 40% so I can enjoy, in peace, the rest of my prize without the fear of going to jail for unpaid taxes. Immediately after that, I would fund lobbying efforts in Washington to exterminate the “blood-sucking parasites” and their job description of wasting tax-payer money.
Second, I would set up trusts for all my loved ones–don’t you start kissing my butt now–and would make sure that they were all taken care of. I would finance their business projects, ideas, charities, and any other initiatives as long as they have a good purpose and they are willing to work relentlessly for their success. I have no patience for laziness.
Third, I would create a fund for mental health research. This epidemic in America has many dark faces, and too often, we see the results of ignoring it for political reasons on the news. (In fact, I have a pretty good candidate in mind to start experimentation right away, who suffers from an acute case of psychosis, but I can’t disclose her identity.)
Forth, I would also create a fund for energy research–not with environmental purposes– but to find the formula to keep up with my four-year-old son. I just can’t explain how tired, mentally and physically, my little boy makes me everyday.
He can run and jump for two hours straight and afterwards, be ready in seconds for a half marathon. Meanwhile, I walk 25 minutes on the treadmill–as if I were an 80 year-old grandma–trying not to hurt my knees and hips. Then, I am ready to go to bed at 5 p.m.
Actually, thinking further, I would channel the efforts of that foundation towards developing a way to bottle the energy of a toddler for mother’s consumption. Wow! There is my own Powerball. I could make my next billion!
And fifth, I would fund the endeavor to find a way to travel in time, not to the past, but to the future. I would love to see myself in 30 years–if I am that lucky to be walking on this Earth. I would love to see if I accomplished my goals, if my hair is completely gray because I hate coloring it, and if I decided to go for that face lift or lip enhancement that I promised my husband I would never get.
But most of all, I would love to see my son as a grown man. He will be five in April, and as much as I want him to stay as my baby, I can’t wait to see what profession he will chose, what type of woman he will like, or what passion he will pursue.
I would love to see if he will laugh at all my jokes, will hug me and squeeze my face between his little hands saying, “look at me mama!” in the darkness at bed time when we are snuggled face to face. Our time is going at the speed of light and there is not enough money in the world to stop it.
Anyways… since the Powerball didn’t get any winners last Saturday, I have a second chance tonight. I have never bought lottery tickets before, but yesterday I bought three: one for me, one for my husband, and one for my son. And should we win, I am hiring people to impersonate us in public because I don’t want the angry mobs punching us.
Thanks for reading and sharing.
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