“Happy Honey? Show me the money!”

Very often I hear husbands–including mine–say, “Happy wife, happy life,” when they refer to the demands of their spouses which are, many times, incomprehensible to them. Yet, I have never heard a popular saying that refers to the happiness of the husband, hence the happiness of the wife.

You might recall my column from August 12, “Who said it’s too late?” where I told you about the beginning of my husband’s Paleo Diet. Well, it has been over two months, and I have to admit, the changes are considerable and worth sharing.

First of all, I was wrong. Yes, ladies, I said I was wrong. Thank God he didn’t hunt the deer of our community, didn’t wear a leopard leotard, or dance naked by the fire on the back patio. Contrary to my belief, he did stick to eating fruits and vegetables like a rabbit and only lean meats like a grizzly bear.

The first benefit of the Paleo regime is a dramatic decrease of his food allergies. The uncomfortable sensation of constant bloating that kept him up at night, is in the part past because he now sleeps like a baby. Before, he had to sit upright in his lounge chair until two in the morning, regardless what he ate.

My benefit? I sleep better too, because his phlegmatic cough doesn’t wake me in the middle of the night like the “vrom vrom vrom” from a tractor running through a wall.

The second major benefit is that we can share the kitchen in harmony. Since he is not eating carbs, I no longer find millions of crumbs of toasted bread all over the counter. I can prepare my breakfast and my son’s lunch bag in peace. Unfortunately, the stove and the coffee maker station are still a mess, but asking him to change that is like asking an apple tree to give lemons.

Moreover, he is cooking his meat on Sundays–several pounds of turkey breasts and sausage on the grill outside on the patio. So, if the darn things goes up in flames–like this past Sunday–I don’t care, because there are not kitchen cabinets to ruin.

The third benefit–my husband still insists is not that important–is the weight loss. He shed at least six pounds and he can feel it in his clothes. Therefore, he walks around the house exhibiting his flat tummy, posing like a Macy’s catalog model with the casual, goofy faces.

An extra bonus, greatly appreciated, is that because he is slimmer, he doesn’t feel the need to work out like a maniac everyday. This has reduced the pile of clothes to wash and fold from the size of Mount Everest to a little Florida hill. I can actually use the counter in my laundry room for the groceries when I get back from the store.

If my husband is happy, I am happier. He is happy as long as his basic needs are satisfied–it’s not rocket science, just give it up! Dr. Laura Schlessinger got it right. Like a caveman, he goes out everyday to wrestle a wild world and comes home with the “kill” to feed his tribe, making sure his loved ones are secure and well.

Men are simple creatures, indeed. However, don’t let their “cool” attitude about everything fool you. They are also needy and demanding in their male way. For example, my husband is the typical middle-aged man, content by nature. He doesn’t complain or bitch about vain stuff–unless the Cable TV or the Wi-Fi collapses throughout the house, and then he throws a fit of toddler proportions.

I have to confess, I doubted he would stick to the Paleo Diet, but now that he did, I don’t want him to quit. He looks and feels great, healthy and full of energy. Although, it required some adjustment from my part, I ended up victorious as well. So thinking about a saying for us, the wives, I came up with “Happy honey? Show me the money!” I have some shopping to do, and I am sure he won’t say anything!

Thanks for reading and sharing.

Xiomara Spadafora

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